When I think back to the first time I ever saw Ben, all I can really recall was a quick tap in my brain. There was no real physical or sexual attraction, just something in my head telling me that there was more I should know about this person. Once Ben and I were in a relationship, he mentioned the same thing. Usually, in a relationship, when you think back to first meeting that person or seeing that person it usually starts out as a physical attraction which then becomes more after you talk and conversate. You start enjoying their personality, as well as the sexual attraction that brings the two of you together and leads to a relationship. When a guy asks for a girls number or when a girl offers her phone number up, usually it is immediately saved into a phone or written down on a scrap and saved for as SOON as the two part so the phone call can be immediately made. After the first couple of phone calls, a date is made and eventually down the road sex becomes a part of the relationship along with so much more that a new couple has to offer.
Though most people reading this, if anyone at all has no idea what I am getting at here, it’s okay. I just felt the need to put this story into my blog so that I can always go back and remember the series of steps that led us to where we are today.
When I first gave Ben my phone number, it was for nothing more than the fact that if he ever needed a ride to work (we both worked the same shift at a diner at the time, which is where we met) that he could call me. He kept loosing my number or not saving it. One afternoon before work I noticed an incredible amount of snow on the ground, and falling from the sky so I texted him (yes, I remembered to save his number!) and asked him if he needed a ride to work. No response, (whatever, walk then asshole). I got to work and there is Ben, standing in who even knows how many inches of snow on the concrete, freezing his ass off. We exchange looks, I walk inside the diner and notice my phone beeps (new text message).
Ben: Who is this?
Seriously?
I opened the back doors of the diner and looked at him like, really? I remember specifically saying to him, “Save my damn number!” And a smile on his face was the only reply that was needed before I walked back into the diner to start my shift.
And this simple exchange of text messages was the start to our relationship.
Christmas of 2010 he texted me wishing me a Merry Christmas (what a doll.. :p) and conversation fell into place from there. The first time we hung out was simply as friends, nothing more to be looked for. A night in a basement, with conversation after conversation about interests, family, friends and life. The second time we hung out… we became one.
New Years Eve, 2010. We went to a party, didn’t drink much just conversated among friends. We weren’t dating at this time, but when I walked into the house full of people I felt good to be walking in with him. The snow on the ground outside led us to stay the night so we were led to a freezing cold attic with nothing more then a space heater, a couple of blankets and a pillow on the floor. As we laid in complete silence and possibly awkwardness, not a single thought about being with this person crossed my mind. As he turned to face me we both laid breathing in eachothers energies and holding onto one another to keep warm. I couldn’t even guess the amount of time we laid there with this incredible energy rushing through the both of us, 30 minutes? an hour? Who knows exactly, but it was for sure a long amount of time. And then there was the kiss. Out of nowhere. The kiss that lasted longer than any other kiss I’ve ever experienced in my life. And no words were exchanged.
When we woke the following morning I dropped him off at his house (words about what happened the previous night still to be found). And I honestly don’t think words were ever exchanged about it. We both just knew, that we were to be together. And from that point forward, we were. And still are, and hope to be forever.
I truely believe a force brought us together as one. It was no experience that I have ever witnessed before and he tells me the same. It is such a cliche, you know, the beginning of a relationship. The high. The rush. The “pure lust.” But this wasn’t like that for us. At this time Ben was such a wreck, in regards to his drug addiction and his lifestyle. When he moved in with me I didn’t understand the severity of his addiction, I didn’t fully take in all the baggage that came along with him. No one agreed with our relationship and everyone thought it was going to quickly come to an end but no one saw what we saw. After a conversation last night, we named the situation, a beautiful disaster, which is exactly what it was. Such a beautiful person in such a disasterous situation and his life has went from a wreck to a blessing within these past two years. Last night we both laid in bed and talked about this and he told me how amazing it felt to be where he is at today after remembering where his life was before. There are battles, there are fights, there have been relapses, there has been tears, there has been stuggles but we move forward and embrace what we have. We now have a beautiful baby girl together that brings us joy every day! Through stresses and reality, it is hard to remember sometimes why we fell in love with the person we are with, but thinking back to the beginning always makes me so quickly remember.
So this blog, is dedicated to my other half, my soulmate, my love – Benjamin. You have come such a long way. And though there will always be struggles, I will stand by you every step of the way. I refuse to give up on what you have to offer. I am so happy to have you in my life and I honestly believe that together, we can have so much more in time. Never give up on yourself. You are indeed, my other half. We are indeed, one.
Only thing is we’ve been having lots of issues with her since she was born as far as consistent crying and not really much we can do for her. Thankfully now that she is 4 months old, she has really been getting a little better. I am going to post a couple of blogs here today in hopes to catch everyone up a little bit. Just wanted to make this post specifically for our new addition and to show everyone how great of a big brother Jaiden is!!
